Teaching the Value of Patience

Young children are egocentric. They appear to have little patience. They want what they want when they want it…, which is usually right now! This does not mean that they are selfish and do not wish to consider other persons, but rather that they cannot do so. Children focus on their desires about a single aspect of an object or event.

Please use the following age level specific guidelines to help you teach this particular value.

3 – 4 YEAR-OLDS:

Three and four year-olds do not yet completely understand the concept of time. They also cannot anticipate all the consequences of their actions. This means that much of their behavior is spontaneous and is the result of their own wants and desires. When expectations are imposed by adults, the children may respond to demands but not internalize the characteristics of patience. It is helpful for parents to label children’s behavior when children are being patient; Reinforce that patient behavior with praise: “I see you patiently waiting in line for your turn at the swings.” As parents teach children about time and sequence, they can help children anticipate the order in which upcoming events will happen: “First, we’ll have lunch, then have a nap, and then we’ll go to the playground.”

5 – 6 YEAR OLDS:

Five and six year-olds experience more opportunities to be patient because they are more involved in school, church, and social schedules. This social interaction provides opportunities for children to experience the give-and-take — and the rewards — of waiting. Parents can talk about the waiting and create ways to measure longer waiting times with devices such as a growth chart, a calendar, and a paper chain with one link for each day until the anticipated event.

7 – 9 YEAR OLDS:

Seven and nine year-olds are more able to define small time segments and better able to wait patiently. Adults can continue to help children measure time and discuss changes over time. Have conversations with children in which you each “remember when…” Talk about the changes in the seasons and anticipate what you will do “next Spring.” Draw segments on a timeline and label them with pictures to put events in sequence: church, school, weeknight club, cleaning their room, taking out the trash, and so on.

Activities To Do to Learn About Patience

1. Plant some seeds or seedlings and watch them grow. Radishes grow fast. Make a chart to record progress. Compare the rate of growth for different plants and seeds. Include on the chart the day number, height, and number of leaves.
2. Make a list of things for which your family waits. You might include events such as: the city bus, birthdays, summer vacation, Grandmother’s visit.
3. While you wait, play “I See Something.” Player A selects an object within sight of both players and declares, “I see something red (or whatever color the object is).” Player B tries to guess which object Player A has selected. If necessary, other clues may be given, such as “I see something red and square” or “I see something red and square this is used for covering your head.”

Quigley’s Village Recommended Video on Patience: “The Playground Popcorn Explosion”

The video that ties into this value is “The Playground Popcorn Explosion.” In this video, Mr. Quigley’s friends experience many examples of waiting: Lemon waits for Spike to get dressed. Bubba waits for his banana tree to grow. Milty waits for a cut on his antler to heal. All the friends wait to get older and grow taller.

The friends celebrate Costume Dress-up Day in the Village Park. Mr. Quigley provides a box of old clothes for the friends to use as they pretend to take various roles. He leaves the party for awhile to get the lid for the popcorn popper from his house. Danny, who imagines himself as the boss, feels that he is old enough to start the popcorn popper without Mr. Quigley. Danny encourages Bubba to pour in the popcorn. Of course, they do not have the lid to the popper – as the popcorn pops, it flies everywhere.

“The Playground Popcorn Explosion” really includes two main ideas. The first is the concept of waiting or anticipating an event with good humor. The second is the idea of calmly dealing with unexpected and unpredictable events.

During the video, you may want to occasionally stop it and ask your children, “What do you think you would do (or feel or say) in this story?” Then, watch how the program ends.

After the video, ask your children to share what they thought about the story. Which character was their favorite? Which character was most like them? In what ways?

Additional activities to do after the video could be:

1. Have a family Costume Dress-Up Day. Collect some old clothes: dresses, shirts, hats, suits, gloves, wigs, purses, jewelry. Each family member can take a different role: doctor, singer, artist, teacher, mail carrier, and more. Talk about what each family member likes about each of the roles – and about being themselves.
2. Pop some popcorn. There are many ways to do popcorn. Using a hot-air popper or a microwave oven will allow children to actually watch the kernels pop.
3. Learn to sing together one of the songs from “Patiently Wait.”

Recommended Books to Learn About Patience

• “Barney Wigglesworth and the Birthday Surprise,” Elspeth Campbell Murphy. Elgin, IL: Chariot Books, 1986.
• “The Littlest One,” Penny Frank. Oxford, England: Lion Publishing, 1987.
• “Naaman’s Dreadful Secret,” Penny Frank. Oxford, England. Lion Publishing, 1987.
• “The Walls Came Tumbling Down,” Dave Hill. St. Louis, MO: Concordia Publishing House, 1967.