Teaching the Value of Listening

Youngsters have difficulty in remembering long lists of abstract things, that is, things that they are not actually able to see and touch at that moment. They are not detached thinkers; they cannot think about thinking. Children use and understand language only in concrete terms. Children do not understand metaphors, symbols, or abstract ideas. Parents will help by making positive comments to children. Give them messages of approval and care. When you have to say “no,” say it kindly but firmly. Also, enforce limits consistently. Let your “no” mean “no,” and your “yes” mean “yes.”

Please use the following age level specific guidelines to help you teach this particular value.

3 – 4 YEAR-OLDS:

Three to four year-olds will need help to experience big tasks in concrete ways. They are concrete thinkers and will need specific, one-step-at-a-time instructions. The directions “clean your room” or “pack for the trip” are too general and overwhelming to a very young child. To clean the children’s room, first give the youngsters specific steps, such as (1) put toys on the shelf or (2) pick up soiled clothing and put it in the laundry hamper. It may help to have the adult assist the children as they learn what needs to be done. Parents can set examples for listening carefully by paying attention to children. Get down at your youngster’s level so they can look you in the eye as you talk with each other.

5 – 6 YEAR-OLDS:

Five to six year-olds can begin to remember two or three steps at a time when given directions. They still are likely to need an adult to offer the instructions in the first place. Parents can encourage development of listening skills by playing listening and memory games with five and six year-olds. Always remember to praise youngsters efforts to listen carefully.

7 – 9 YEAR-OLDS:

Seven to nine year-olds have longer attention spans and better memory skills. Youngsters are interested in completing the tasks, but their attention span may still be short. They may be easily distracted by something they would rather do. Parents can continue to model good listening skills by paying careful attention to their children during conversations. After the children have spoken, parents can re-state what they’ve heard so the children know their parents listened.

Activities To Do to Learn About Listening

1. Encourage your children’s development of listening and memory skills by playing memory games. With the family, take turns completing the phrase, “I’m going on a sleepover and I’m taking a ___________________.” As each family member takes their turn, they remember and repeat all the belongings mentioned by other family members. To make the game more difficult for older children, require that each repeats the list in order or that each item begins with the same letter of the alphabet or that each item begin with a sequential letter of the alphabet.
2. Have your older children interview other people about the responses they’ve had to prayers to God. Children can ask other people if they feel that God has heard their prayers and why they believe so.
3. Have a family meeting where you talk about the importance of listening carefully and remembering what people say. Create a family story, such as “The Day You Were Born” or “The First Day of School.”
4. Tell each other about one of the traditions in your family. How do these traditions pass along the family’s stories?
5. Learn a few signs in American Sign Language. Good signs to learn include: God, Love, and You.
6. Develop a habit of saying positive things to each family member and be specific. “Wow! You did a great job of putting away your toys!” Here are some words to include when giving praises to children:Wow – Way to Go – Super – You’re Special – Outstanding – Excellent – Great – Good – Well Done – Fantastic – Now You’ve Got It – Super Star – Nice Work – Looking Good – Marvelous – You’re Important – You’re Precious to Me – What a Good Listener – You are Fun to be With – You’re a Good Friend – You Mean a Lot to Me – I Like You – Awesome – You Make me Happy – You’re a Joy

Quigley’s Village Recommended Video on Listening: “Spike and the Silly Mixed-Up Sleepover”

The video that ties into this value is “Spike and the Silly Mixed-Up Sleepover.” In this video, Spike learns what happens when she does not listen carefully. She does not pay attention when her dad suggests what she should take to Lemon’s house for the sleepover. She realizes that if she had listened better to her dad, she would have had everything she needed for a pleasant stay.

During the video, you may want to occasionally stop it and ask your children, “What do you think you would do (or feel or say) in this story?” Then, watch how the program ends.

After the video, ask your children to share what they thought about the story. Which character was their favorite? Which character was most like them? In what ways?

Additional activities to do after the video could be:

1. Younger children can listen to the video program for concrete things. For example, have your children try to remember all the things that Spike needs to take to the sleepover or all the things that Dexter needs for his paint job.
2. Learn and sing together one of the songs from “Spike and the Silly Mixed-Up Sleepover.”

Recommended Books to Learn About Listening

• “God Hears Me,” Barbara Owen. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress, 1994.
• “Teddy’s Terrible Tangle,” Linda Porter Carlyle. Boise: ID: Pacifica Press Publishing Association, 1994.